In the past year I have come across quite a few women who have inspired me in various ways. Some have made we want to get off my ass and start training again, some have made me want to excel more in my career, some have helped me grow in all aspects of my life and some have shown me exactly what not to do and how not to be! I guess that whole people come into our lives for a reason and season and bla bla bla is pretty true. However, that is not the topic of today’s post. Today I want to share my daily struggle with women.
It says somewhere in the bible that God created all things equal. Without getting into a religious debate (because those are about as useful as a waterproof tampon) I disagree. Not everyone is equal. Well, certainly not in the looks department or the brains department. Actually, not even in the personality department.
I feel very strongly about this. It is only fair that people be allowed to get full marks in one department. Like you must either be retardedly beautiful, insanely clever or have the raddest personality in the universe. You CANNOT have two or even all three. This is completely unacceptable and goes against the natural order of things. Like how am I supposed to hate you for being really hot if you’re also a really nice person? IT’S NOT FAIR!
I am both lucky and unlucky to have some women like this in my life and let me tell you something for free… It’s both the hardest thing and the greatest thing being around them. On one hand they make you want to frolic in a field of flowers in Summer because they are basically pure rays of sunshine. At the same time I want to punch them in their pretty awesome faces because how can you be so insanely beautiful and then also be intelligent?
Don’t even get me started on the people that look like they’ve been photoshopped who also have the biggest hearts and then even bigger brains. I CAN’T EVEN! It’s so much more than a ‘having your cake and eating it too’ scenario. This is basically, someone giving you a lifetime supply of cakes for free to eat without ever getting fat!
I feel like the only way to deal with this is secretly hope that they have like 13 toes or a third nipple or maybe they have like really hairy backs. There has to be some kind of flaw right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who battles daily with this so send me your nominations for one of these magical unicorn like humans that are just so amazingly sweet and hot and clever AF so I can Twitter stalk them and compare notes. Maybe I’ll even start giving people awards for awesomeness.